No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
