I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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