When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
