if i can run in heels then i can drive
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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