But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
