u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Randomize
