I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
