If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
