I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
