Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
