Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
