don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
