it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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