maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
