I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
