Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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