i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
