so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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