I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
be right there i have to get my cape
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
