2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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