And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I fill condoms, not promises.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize