dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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