I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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