what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
