Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
