You can't special order awesome
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
