Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
