oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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