You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
