I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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