just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
What a dumb baby whore.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
