Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
