Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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