At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Fuck me I smell like cheese
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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