At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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