i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
