I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
