Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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