I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize