I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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