i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
