The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
