you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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