How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize