I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
