everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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