The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
