Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize