I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
