K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
