What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
