I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
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