oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
