Christians are straight up FREAKS
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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