I didn't shave. On purpose
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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