remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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