No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Less talking, more tequila
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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