we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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