i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
