i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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