me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize